Juice

For some time, a part of me wanted to disappear-to slip off into the distance and withdraw from almost everything, at least for a while. More than anything I just wanted to write, even more than make art. I considered a number of possibilities, building a studio on some land that my mom has up in the Northeastern corner of California, moving out of state to some obscure place where the cost of living is exceptionally low and perhaps working as a substitute teacher, and I considered teaching English overseas.

Yes, I knew that I would miss my family and close friends, and that they would not like the idea. Even so, I thought that it might be good, good for me. I am a person with escapist tendencies, it’s true, but more than that, more importantly, I felt that it would allow me to fully concentrate my energies. Life often gets in the way of art.
Growing older has forced me to become more aware of the finite nature of our time. If there’s a way to do what you really want to be doing, you should- right now if at all possible.

But the demands of daily life do tend to get in the way-if you let it. It doesn’t need to be that way. Not if we are truly creative, resourceful, and on the highest and most conscious level, responsible. What has tended to happen to me and to others I know is that we slip into feeling sorry for ourselves when it appears that the inevitable obstacles of life get in the way of what is it we say we want for ourselves.
Some of us have a history of giving up far too easily. It’s time to get tough.

Most of us have at one time or another taken jobs or even spent years preparing for careers which were far from being our first love. Some are able to make this a temporary situation, while others settle in for life. Once in a while we can find themselves longing for what might have been in the best of all possible worlds. Even so, the creative person usually remains filled with “juice” which little by little, permeates, enriches and enlivens what might be an otherwise dull, or even dead end job/ existence. Though not always valued by tradition-bound peers or bosses, they do in fact become remarkable practitioners. The more aware of their colleagues and bystanders can’t help but notice and sometimes even give praise for the exceptional way in which something is done.

I have few friends who are remarkably talented artists of one sort or another, some with a great deal of formal training and others with lots of raw talent who are no longer producing their art. Viewed from one perspective, it is sad. It is a small tragedy, but it is always a person’s choice, even when they don’t understand that. Most however remain very creative and adaptable people, so all is not lost. They do make the lives of those around them better and for most the flood gates of creativity will eventually open again at some point in their future. Aches and pains aside, growing older offers many wonderful promises and potential rewards.

One of the most talented and conscious of my artist friends who is not presently painting or doing sculpture, made the deliberate decision to shift her focus from fine art to living every aspect of her life more creatively isn’t waiting around. It seems that her efforts are paying off already. She seems happier and more connected with life and humanity than ever before and is really attempting to do some good with her time and energy. Once a week, she cooks with whatever is available in a women's shelter and turns the random ingredients into a delicious feast for the residents.
I salute you Linda.

As for me, even though it looks as though I will need to get a second part time job for the summer, I am not worried or upset about what is being lost. The juice will still flow no matter what I’m doing, no matter where I’m at. And even if I’m totally exhausted at the end of the day, I will still find time and energy to write in my journal, take walks at the beach, find wonderful rocks and pieces of driftwood, make a few pieces of art, work on a story or two and connect with my friends and family. I know that through and through, and that is more than enough to make me happy. And so it is.