Vision Quest Revisited #2

1999
I was a floater
and an imaginary hunter.
I was also afraid of making anything happen.
I thought that letting things happen would spare me
the experience of having to feel guilty
for something that I did.
What happened was that
I found myself feeling bad
about things I hadn't done.


1999
...AND SOMETIMES
I WAS SIMPLY AFRAID




Afraid of the way I feel




filling the space





I must have looked like a hopeless longshot.
I don't know why she bet on me,
but I felt I had a chance to win
just because of her.


inscription on a coin
IN GOLD WE TRUST


I'd like to wake you
BUT I THINK I'LL LET YOU SLEEP




I wanted to let go and fall in love
without any holding back
I wanted to make babies with you-
I really wanted to, but I was afraid.



I did love you
as much as I was capable of
at the time,
but

I just couldn't let things get out of control.







Neither One Of Us
Understood the Other,

And That Brought About A Kind Balance.





at the time
I couldn't understand
and it really blew me away.
SHE EXPECTED ME TO LEAVE HER.
That thought refused to let go of me
for quite a long time.


She had been through a lot.
A part of her had given up long ago,
another part kept on trying
looking for someone or something
she hoped was out there.




wash me away


there's still a song inside of you
(perhaps somewhat subdued)



She Might Have

But sometimes,
with some people,
Even asking
is too much of a promise.




agreed upon boundaries