It's funny how even when you may want to write something, even when you feel that slight pressure building in the back of your mind, it sometimes just isn't ready to come out. There are of course moments of laziness, but that's not what I'm talking about.
Sometimes you just have to wait, and things will come together.
Some writers refuse to allow that. They always contend that you can and should attempt to push things. Push until it happens, 'til you get what you want.
Sometimes just getting into motion is all that you need, but sometimes, you just have to wait.
All of these situations apply to the writing and the lack of it that is displayed here.
Sometimes waiting for things to come together is exactly the right thing to do. That goes against conventional wisdom and could easily be seen as an excuse for not doing something.
Not arguments there. It can often be true, but, but, but, you probably know by now that I tend to be more interested in the exceptions rather than the rules.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A Life Full of BUTs and WHAT IFs and Exceptions
I was with a friend the other night.
She was not doing too well, mostly because of the cumulative effects of stress.
I did what I could to be comforting and "there" for her,
but don't know if any of my efforts helped.
I wanted to take the weight off her shoulders, but the source of that was life itself.
The drama and demands of everyday life can often wear us down.
There are tricks and strategies for dealing with the various challenges of life. Many books and self-help courses have been created in an attempt to offer answers. I have learned a few things
I suppose, but more often than not forget to use them when my own levels of stress begin to rise.
Stress has always been around.
The earliest forms were quite literally matters of life and death.
Humans were not originally the apex predators of the planet.
Before we began to create tools and weapons, we were at the mercy of a wide array of sharp toothed enemies.
Fortunately for most of us, we no longer have to worry about being eaten by lions or crocodiles or anything else. Our stresses come from other trials. Too many emails to answer in too little time. Not enough money to go out with our friends whenever or wherever we'd like. All kinds of things.
Sometimes it is something more threatening, like not enough money for food or rent or a car needing repairs when your credit is already maxed out or so many other items which might be absolutely essential. Modern life has it's own set of perils quite distinct from those of simpler times when just staying alive was THE first priority every single day and night. When we or those we care about are afflicted by serious illnesses, that certainly adds to our pressures, and the cost of treatment often presents a whole new set of worries. Some must choose between medicine or food.
Some of the things which impact us are the result of choices we've made. Somethings we compound the ill effects of a mistake, of fate or a moment of thoughtlessness. We can often do something to make things a bit better or worse. That's what I tell myself and that's what I have sometimes said to others. But sometimes circumstances do seem to fall from the sky or it feels like nothing you try to do helps and everything just gets worse. Sometimes it seems that there is nothing to be done.
Well I don't have any answers for all of this other than to just keep trying something new if what you have been doing isn't working. Some of us get to the point of "Let go, Let God" sooner or later, but that's not the point of my thinking today. I am just including it as one of the spectrum of possibilities.
I do believe in a divine presence though I try to avoid getting into arguments about the details. My beliefs are intentionally quite loosely defined in these matters. We are all I think given challenges, but usually not more than we can handle. Sometimes though, the test is about how we behave when we are overwhelmed. Do we do more damage? Do we blame others or even behave vindictively? Do we do our best to limit the negative effects and maybe even try to save someone else even when there's no hope of us?
The person I began writing about initially is a particular person, but she could have been a number of other people. Nearly all of us have things to deal with which can and do at least momentarily overwhelm us.
It is a universal truth that we all have stresses to deal with. With these come choices to be made. We can keep things to ourselves and let it build. We can share with a trusted friend, and they will do what they can- often wishing they could do more OR feel that they are too overwhelmed themselves. There's no one answer.
Sometimes trying to help someone can push you over the edge. Some of us say yes to others when we should say no. That may well be a major source of their stress because they are simply overloaded. Some protect only themselves and cut everyone else around them loose, automatically, because they have "learned the hard way." It may seem callous and unkind but sometimes you simply have nothing left.
Each of us knows where we are in terms of our inner strength and what we have to share with others. Some need to move more in one direction. Some need to move in the other. Some have found the balance, some learn quickly, others are still making a mess of things over and over again.
There are few if any absolutes in this life.
Most of us have a strong survival instinct.
Most of us are to some extent compassionate.
We try to be helpful to others when we can.
But with most things there are usually limits to what we actually can or should do.
At the same time though, it's always important to remember that
most of us are capable of much more than we think.
Normally it is not good to sacrifice yourself to save someone else
in a situation other than an emergency of some kind.
But then those cases are often considered considered heroic.
Most of us understand that life can be complicated and that it is full of BUTS and WHAT IFs and all kinds of exceptions.
She was not doing too well, mostly because of the cumulative effects of stress.
I did what I could to be comforting and "there" for her,
but don't know if any of my efforts helped.
I wanted to take the weight off her shoulders, but the source of that was life itself.
The drama and demands of everyday life can often wear us down.
There are tricks and strategies for dealing with the various challenges of life. Many books and self-help courses have been created in an attempt to offer answers. I have learned a few things
I suppose, but more often than not forget to use them when my own levels of stress begin to rise.
Stress has always been around.
The earliest forms were quite literally matters of life and death.
Humans were not originally the apex predators of the planet.
Before we began to create tools and weapons, we were at the mercy of a wide array of sharp toothed enemies.
Fortunately for most of us, we no longer have to worry about being eaten by lions or crocodiles or anything else. Our stresses come from other trials. Too many emails to answer in too little time. Not enough money to go out with our friends whenever or wherever we'd like. All kinds of things.
Sometimes it is something more threatening, like not enough money for food or rent or a car needing repairs when your credit is already maxed out or so many other items which might be absolutely essential. Modern life has it's own set of perils quite distinct from those of simpler times when just staying alive was THE first priority every single day and night. When we or those we care about are afflicted by serious illnesses, that certainly adds to our pressures, and the cost of treatment often presents a whole new set of worries. Some must choose between medicine or food.
Some of the things which impact us are the result of choices we've made. Somethings we compound the ill effects of a mistake, of fate or a moment of thoughtlessness. We can often do something to make things a bit better or worse. That's what I tell myself and that's what I have sometimes said to others. But sometimes circumstances do seem to fall from the sky or it feels like nothing you try to do helps and everything just gets worse. Sometimes it seems that there is nothing to be done.
Well I don't have any answers for all of this other than to just keep trying something new if what you have been doing isn't working. Some of us get to the point of "Let go, Let God" sooner or later, but that's not the point of my thinking today. I am just including it as one of the spectrum of possibilities.
I do believe in a divine presence though I try to avoid getting into arguments about the details. My beliefs are intentionally quite loosely defined in these matters. We are all I think given challenges, but usually not more than we can handle. Sometimes though, the test is about how we behave when we are overwhelmed. Do we do more damage? Do we blame others or even behave vindictively? Do we do our best to limit the negative effects and maybe even try to save someone else even when there's no hope of us?
The person I began writing about initially is a particular person, but she could have been a number of other people. Nearly all of us have things to deal with which can and do at least momentarily overwhelm us.
It is a universal truth that we all have stresses to deal with. With these come choices to be made. We can keep things to ourselves and let it build. We can share with a trusted friend, and they will do what they can- often wishing they could do more OR feel that they are too overwhelmed themselves. There's no one answer.
Sometimes trying to help someone can push you over the edge. Some of us say yes to others when we should say no. That may well be a major source of their stress because they are simply overloaded. Some protect only themselves and cut everyone else around them loose, automatically, because they have "learned the hard way." It may seem callous and unkind but sometimes you simply have nothing left.
Each of us knows where we are in terms of our inner strength and what we have to share with others. Some need to move more in one direction. Some need to move in the other. Some have found the balance, some learn quickly, others are still making a mess of things over and over again.
There are few if any absolutes in this life.
Most of us have a strong survival instinct.
Most of us are to some extent compassionate.
We try to be helpful to others when we can.
But with most things there are usually limits to what we actually can or should do.
At the same time though, it's always important to remember that
most of us are capable of much more than we think.
Normally it is not good to sacrifice yourself to save someone else
in a situation other than an emergency of some kind.
But then those cases are often considered considered heroic.
Most of us understand that life can be complicated and that it is full of BUTS and WHAT IFs and all kinds of exceptions.
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