In many meditation and metaphysics classes there is an expression which is often used- "What you give is what you get." The normal meaning of the phrase requires no special explanation. It is an easily grasped and important concept. I believe however that I have stumbled upon a more subtle extension of the principle.
When we give advice to another, such as to try and see the wonder and beauty in our daily lives- a path often strewn with obstacles, set backs and what may seem to be in the worst cases even tragedies, it can come back to us. We may find that we're faced with a number of challenges or at least things we wish we didn't have to deal with, and then we remember our advice. Those carelessly tossed out words, not necessarily well thought out, but still, with the best of intentions. If things are particularly difficult, we may want to dismiss whatever advice we tried to pass along, feeling that it was really stupid and arrogant of us to have taken a position of knowing what someone else should do.
Still though, we are stuck with what we said to that other person, or perhaps quite a lot of advice to quite a few others. We did say it and there's no taking it back. We have to live with that. It can be like an echo which doesn't fade away. The good news is that there may actually be a certain amount of truth in our automatically offered utterance. Remembering may add to our frustration, but there may be some hope in there for us. It's not easy, but even when surrounded by darkness and doom, with perhaps even more problems on the horizon and closing in, there may be at least a little bit of good, something encouraging or uplifting at the very edge of our vision.
If we shift our focus ever so slightly, we might be able to take it in and regain just a little bit of energy and strength, and get up again. It not that we are forgetting about the problem, we can't really do that. We may need to rest, we may need to rethink a number of things, but that little bit of difference- that slight bit of encouragement from either the outside world or maybe even from a half smile in the mirror acknowledging and laughing at our own fallibility may be enough to actually get us going again.
The down side of giving advice is that sooner or later your words will come back to you, but the good thing is that if you allow it, they may actually help- not a lot, but maybe just enough.
And So It Is.
C
~ Peace and Love ~ 和平與愛 ~ Paz e Amor ~ Vrede en Liefde ~ السلام والحب ~
愛と平和 ~ Kapayapaan ~ Frieden und Liebe ~ Pace e amore ~ 사랑과 평화!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Birthdays
A couple of close friends from work have birthdays this month.
One was last week, the other near the end of the month.
Both are very warm and sensitive people.
Yet in spite of all that they do for others simply by being around,
by giving off their warm positive energy, they don't always appreciate themselves fully.
Perhaps it is because we are taught not to be too much in love with ourselves.
That was the point of the ancient story of Narcissus.
But we really should be comfortable loving, and liking ourselves,
at the same time we are fully aware of things we might like to work on.
We all have areas of strength and areas of need and things which could be improved upon.
Even with our so-called flaws and we all have some things, usually a few things which we'd like to change, we can and should feel able and willing to love ourselves without reservation- without any conditionality. It is important, not just for us, but for those around us- those we love and care about. If we are patient and accepting of our own work-in-progress selves, we find it easier to take some of the little things in stride which others do, things which might be a little troubling or annoying. If we can remember that none of us has as yet achieved perfection, it is helpful.
No one that I know, even the most gifted, talented or insightful has finished with their journey of discovery and growth. We do sometimes get stuck, and sometimes for a long time, but life really is about learning. That is what we do.
In spite of the imperfections with mainstream learning, in spite of the fact that many come to believe that they don't enjoy learning or aren't very bright, at least in particular areas, we remain learning machines. We learn things all the time. We reinforce what we take in with own self-talk, both positive and negative. Many of the messages floating around in the mainstream media, from programming and from advertising cause of to focus on our various short-comings. Often they are trying to sell us something or move us in one direction or another. They will help us, maybe even save us, if only we will part with a few of our dollars. They will make us more complete. We might even become a little bit like super stars.
While, there are some beneficial goods and services out there, we are the ones who have to do most of the work, if we want anything to change. That is the truth. There's no way around it. There are no silver bullets, not magic elixirs which make everything right, and only a hand-full of winning lottery tickets out there. We have to do the work.
Whenever I feel my own birthday looming on the horizon, I become a bit more introspective than usual. It is still a few months away, November, but I can already feel the effects. I think about what I have done and haven't done over that past year or so. I begin an informal assessment process. I look back and look ahead. At this point in time, I am once more hopeful.
Certain outsiders might find that hard to believe. I haven't really accomplished much in terms of worldly achievements. I haven't. I have been a dreamer much more than a doer. And I went through a period when the approach of my birthday brought with it months of low energy and at times outright depression. For several years that happened.
My emotional life is far more varied than it used to be. I used to appear to be able to take everything in stride. I seemed to be able to let all kinds of stress roll off, to the amazement of many others. I was always so calm. Now I am at times quite volatile. I do have a lot of ups and downs. I went through a period of great negativity. I even found myself beginning to gossip and I made some situations worse, for myself and for others. But now, even when I slip, I catch myself pretty quickly, and I am able to regain my composure and balance fast too. I can let go of things and people easily (for a time, far too easily) and I can pick them up again, if it seems that it is appropriate for them come back into my life.
I am at peace with myself, with my lack of accomplishments and all. I have done a lot, just not a lot of the things I dreamed about.
I am currently in the process of figuring out what I did or didn't do that added to or diminished the chances of some of those things coming into existence. I am working on it. I am writing and thinking all the time and I am trying new things. All of that feels good, because I am making some progress. I am learning and growing again. Still learning and still crazy after all these years. Most of the time that is enough to make me very happy.
Birthdays are a good things, even big ones with a zero at the end.
If you orient yourself to be aware of your own growth, you really do begins to enjoy every moment of your journey. Even with the relatively new awareness that your remaining time is finite. It is all good, if you learn from it, even the unwanted obstacles. They too can provide interesting things to think about.
Thank you for such an amazing life.
C
Copyright 2010 Craig Parks
One was last week, the other near the end of the month.
Both are very warm and sensitive people.
Yet in spite of all that they do for others simply by being around,
by giving off their warm positive energy, they don't always appreciate themselves fully.
Perhaps it is because we are taught not to be too much in love with ourselves.
That was the point of the ancient story of Narcissus.
But we really should be comfortable loving, and liking ourselves,
at the same time we are fully aware of things we might like to work on.
We all have areas of strength and areas of need and things which could be improved upon.
Even with our so-called flaws and we all have some things, usually a few things which we'd like to change, we can and should feel able and willing to love ourselves without reservation- without any conditionality. It is important, not just for us, but for those around us- those we love and care about. If we are patient and accepting of our own work-in-progress selves, we find it easier to take some of the little things in stride which others do, things which might be a little troubling or annoying. If we can remember that none of us has as yet achieved perfection, it is helpful.
No one that I know, even the most gifted, talented or insightful has finished with their journey of discovery and growth. We do sometimes get stuck, and sometimes for a long time, but life really is about learning. That is what we do.
In spite of the imperfections with mainstream learning, in spite of the fact that many come to believe that they don't enjoy learning or aren't very bright, at least in particular areas, we remain learning machines. We learn things all the time. We reinforce what we take in with own self-talk, both positive and negative. Many of the messages floating around in the mainstream media, from programming and from advertising cause of to focus on our various short-comings. Often they are trying to sell us something or move us in one direction or another. They will help us, maybe even save us, if only we will part with a few of our dollars. They will make us more complete. We might even become a little bit like super stars.
While, there are some beneficial goods and services out there, we are the ones who have to do most of the work, if we want anything to change. That is the truth. There's no way around it. There are no silver bullets, not magic elixirs which make everything right, and only a hand-full of winning lottery tickets out there. We have to do the work.
Whenever I feel my own birthday looming on the horizon, I become a bit more introspective than usual. It is still a few months away, November, but I can already feel the effects. I think about what I have done and haven't done over that past year or so. I begin an informal assessment process. I look back and look ahead. At this point in time, I am once more hopeful.
Certain outsiders might find that hard to believe. I haven't really accomplished much in terms of worldly achievements. I haven't. I have been a dreamer much more than a doer. And I went through a period when the approach of my birthday brought with it months of low energy and at times outright depression. For several years that happened.
My emotional life is far more varied than it used to be. I used to appear to be able to take everything in stride. I seemed to be able to let all kinds of stress roll off, to the amazement of many others. I was always so calm. Now I am at times quite volatile. I do have a lot of ups and downs. I went through a period of great negativity. I even found myself beginning to gossip and I made some situations worse, for myself and for others. But now, even when I slip, I catch myself pretty quickly, and I am able to regain my composure and balance fast too. I can let go of things and people easily (for a time, far too easily) and I can pick them up again, if it seems that it is appropriate for them come back into my life.
I am at peace with myself, with my lack of accomplishments and all. I have done a lot, just not a lot of the things I dreamed about.
I am currently in the process of figuring out what I did or didn't do that added to or diminished the chances of some of those things coming into existence. I am working on it. I am writing and thinking all the time and I am trying new things. All of that feels good, because I am making some progress. I am learning and growing again. Still learning and still crazy after all these years. Most of the time that is enough to make me very happy.
Birthdays are a good things, even big ones with a zero at the end.
If you orient yourself to be aware of your own growth, you really do begins to enjoy every moment of your journey. Even with the relatively new awareness that your remaining time is finite. It is all good, if you learn from it, even the unwanted obstacles. They too can provide interesting things to think about.
Thank you for such an amazing life.
C
Copyright 2010 Craig Parks
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
More To Come
There's nothing quite like making a long story short and if not short then shorter.
It is a great favor to one's readers.
Getting to the point, getting to what you are really feeling is what matters most.
Some of us have the capacity to go on and on. In my case it is a learned behavior.
When I was young, when everything I wrote was created like poetry,
my words were always brief and clear.
It took hours or days to write even a short piece, but I never wasted words.
Learning to fill, adding lots of detail,
and presenting things very circuitously is the direct result of academic training.
In some ways it is like my experience with drawing. I was actually better back when I was about thirteen than I am now.
I have to work and work to get to that level of directness and literal accuracy.
Some of it is being out of practice.
I don't draw every day, in every spare moment the way I did then.
Now I tend to write, in the various notebooks more often than here on the computer.
That is my raw, naked self-portrait usually done on a daily basis.
Sometimes there are many entries in a single day. It is my Zen practice.
Very little makes it out here to my blogs.
The editor cuts a lot, but I write way more than before.
I am becoming more and more liberated, consistent and disciplined as a writer.
The reason for writing this blog is to be completely fearless, in at least one aspect of my life-
to be able to show whatever it is completely, without any holding back.
The material which does make it to these pages does (I think and hope) fit that definition,
but I wish, I hope that more material will begin to appear here on a regular basis.
This is my most general portal of expression. I have some other more specialized blogs. When something new is presented, it is often launched here as well as on its own venue. I haven't really tried promoting exposure much, but it is a beginning.
Here are my other current offerings:
http://lowtidedesparados.blogspot.com/
http://lostandfoundinakayak-driftersjournal.blogspot.com/
http://alchemyfineartanddesignpatina.blogspot.com/
More will follow. Additional material is in development which deal with educational practices that are responsive to the interests and needs of students, poetry, and strategies for dealing with the stress of modern life.
I will be back to work on my day job soon, which is a source of inspiration, but also a limitation on my Wide Open time which is Summer. Mentally, I go back on August 27th.
It will be an informal, but work-related gathering. I am looking forward to getting together with people who have become very close friends, and getting to know some of the new staff better as well, but even so, with the impending end of Summer on the horizon, it makes me long for more time here in the Wide Open territory. There is much to write.
It is a great favor to one's readers.
Getting to the point, getting to what you are really feeling is what matters most.
Some of us have the capacity to go on and on. In my case it is a learned behavior.
When I was young, when everything I wrote was created like poetry,
my words were always brief and clear.
It took hours or days to write even a short piece, but I never wasted words.
Learning to fill, adding lots of detail,
and presenting things very circuitously is the direct result of academic training.
In some ways it is like my experience with drawing. I was actually better back when I was about thirteen than I am now.
I have to work and work to get to that level of directness and literal accuracy.
Some of it is being out of practice.
I don't draw every day, in every spare moment the way I did then.
Now I tend to write, in the various notebooks more often than here on the computer.
That is my raw, naked self-portrait usually done on a daily basis.
Sometimes there are many entries in a single day. It is my Zen practice.
Very little makes it out here to my blogs.
The editor cuts a lot, but I write way more than before.
I am becoming more and more liberated, consistent and disciplined as a writer.
The reason for writing this blog is to be completely fearless, in at least one aspect of my life-
to be able to show whatever it is completely, without any holding back.
The material which does make it to these pages does (I think and hope) fit that definition,
but I wish, I hope that more material will begin to appear here on a regular basis.
This is my most general portal of expression. I have some other more specialized blogs. When something new is presented, it is often launched here as well as on its own venue. I haven't really tried promoting exposure much, but it is a beginning.
Here are my other current offerings:
http://lowtidedesparados.blogspot.com/
http://lostandfoundinakayak-driftersjournal.blogspot.com/
http://alchemyfineartanddesignpatina.blogspot.com/
More will follow. Additional material is in development which deal with educational practices that are responsive to the interests and needs of students, poetry, and strategies for dealing with the stress of modern life.
I will be back to work on my day job soon, which is a source of inspiration, but also a limitation on my Wide Open time which is Summer. Mentally, I go back on August 27th.
It will be an informal, but work-related gathering. I am looking forward to getting together with people who have become very close friends, and getting to know some of the new staff better as well, but even so, with the impending end of Summer on the horizon, it makes me long for more time here in the Wide Open territory. There is much to write.
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