Thursday, August 4, 2011

It would be easy slip into thinking

that you would allow me to say or do anything.

Yes, ANYTHING,

as long as I did so discreetly,

without embarrassing you.


I know that you do trust me completely

because I have never done more

than was OK with you.


All the little things which you have allowed

the very small gifts,

the sharing of intimate information-

probably meaningless to most anyone else,

but significant to us,

and some real

or imagined

moments of genuine tenderness.


I did begin to think that there was only one thing keeping us apart.


But the truth is,

that there may well be some limits

inside your heart-


Doors you don't want me to ever try opening.

Things you really might NOT WANT

me to say or do-


not just too much

or too soon,


but Not At All- Period!


That may be.

That may be.

And I have to face that possibility.


But, I also can't quite contain myself-

can't keep myself from considering the what ifs:


What if it feels every bit as unbelievable, yet wonderful to you

just as it does to me.


What if you are just as terrified of this whole thing as I am?


And what if you are not completely sure about me-

about what I want and what I am promising-

if anything at all.


And what if we could get past all that.


Would things be worse,

and even more uncertain

less secure

than they are right now


Could I give you a better life?


With more stress and strain

would I long for

and then run?

Off to my old friend,

Freedom-

my only real and true friend ever-

until I met you.




What are we to do?

Just ignore it all?

Pretend we feel nothing?

Pretend we do not recognize

what is impossible for a single second

to forget.

That it is as if we have always known

and loved each other.

Always-

Down through the centuries,

perhaps from the beginning of time

and on into forever.


We are an eternal thread of human affection



Maybe


but maybe it's all just another dream inside my head.

And you're no more real than anyone else.


I don't know.

You seem like THE ONE,

but I don't know.


Do you?