A Definition Of What I Mean By "Wide Open"

With a title like Wide Open, one might assume that my posts could be completely raw- unedited and uncensored. And while almost anything is at least theoretically possible, it is my hope that these pages will prove to be a bit more meaningful than that.

I write all the time, most of the time every day, whenever I have the inclination and opportunity. This forum draws heavily from the thoughts and feelings contained in my journals. Obviously though, there's a great deal in the journals which doesn't make it into this or any of my other more specialized blogs. Most of what I write is primarily for me, from the poetry to the non-fiction pieces. I share some. I do at times craft something for a particular audience or even an individual, but even so, the motivation for beginning a project usually goes back to the fact that it was something I wanted to explore for my own understanding.

Wide Open for me implies a high degree of honesty- integrity.

It means that I don't hold anything back just to make it safe or more sanitary.

Everything is presented in the spirit of exploration and a genuine effort to dig beneath the surface of first impressions, sound bites and occasionally even a few long held assumptions.

There are many things I don't choose to share, but when I do present something here, I make the attempt to present everything about a topic that I believe will be interesting or useful to a potential reader other than myself. I generally don't tend to trash anything or anyone. Instead, I feel that it's more productive to quietly and clearly raise questions. Hopefully no yelling and screaming here.

It is my hope that people of many differing perspectives will eventually visit here and find this environment hospitable, even when we might disagree about something.

I think that's is a worthwhile aspiration.

For some time, I've been wanting to try to clarify things somewhat and define my terms.

Thanks for the occasional read and for pointing others in this direction.

My next task is to try to publish more frequently and consistently. I do have quite a back log of material. With more than forty years of journal entries to draw from plus a continuous stream of new ponderings, there's no shortage of supply here. Time, Time Time- are you just an illusion?

Perhaps I will one day learn to stretch you just a bit more.

something new

I have just published a little story which was originally intended to be a children's picture book.

I am producing it now under a Creative Commons License which allows others to reproduce and add to the work for non-commercial purposes as long as they credit the source.

See kingoftheblackbirds@blogspot.com

It's my hope that art students will illustrate their own version of the story and that young writers will create their own sequel.

I have small collection of my early poems which is currently available through createspace.com and amazon.com

The book is called This IS Not A Sad Song- I am just remembering.

That book is copyrighted, but during the Summer of 2012 I will be setting up an interactive site similar to the kingoftheblackbirds.blogspot.com one. It will be an interactive platform which invites not only readers comments, but perhaps more importantly the presentation of short works by other writers who were inspired by something from This Is Not A Sad Song.

Helping the creative juices of the world to flow more freely is more important to me than selling a few extra books here and there. I believe that the open source movement can be beneficial to artists, writers and every creative person. Simply having your work seen by many who might not ever know about it can be important. In the long run it could help you get to where you hope to go.

It would be easy slip into thinking

that you would allow me to say or do anything.

Yes, ANYTHING,

as long as I did so discreetly,

without embarrassing you.

I know that you do trust me completely

because I have never done more

than was OK with you.

All the little things which you have allowed

the very small gifts,

the sharing of intimate information-

probably meaningless to most anyone else,

but significant to us,

and some real

or imagined

moments of genuine tenderness.

I did begin to think that there was only one thing keeping us apart.

But the truth is,

that there may well be some limits

inside your heart-

Doors you don't want me to ever try opening.

Things you really might NOT WANT

me to say or do-

not just too much

or too soon,

but Not At All- Period!

That may be.

That may be.

And I have to face that possibility.

But, I also can't quite contain myself-

can't keep myself from considering the what ifs:

What if it feels every bit as unbelievable, yet wonderful to you

just as it does to me.

What if you are just as terrified of this whole thing as I am?

And what if you are not completely sure about me-

about what I want and what I am promising-

if anything at all.

And what if we could get past all that.

Would things be worse,

and even more uncertain

less secure

than they are right now

Could I give you a better life?

With more stress and strain

would I long for

and then run?

Off to my old friend,

Freedom-

my only real and true friend ever-

until I met you.

What are we to do?

Just ignore it all?

Pretend we feel nothing?

Pretend we do not recognize

what is impossible for a single second

to forget.

That it is as if we have always known

and loved each other.

Always-

Down through the centuries,

perhaps from the beginning of time

and on into forever.

We are an eternal thread of human affection

Maybe

but maybe it's all just another dream inside my head.

And you're no more real than anyone else.

I don't know.

You seem like THE ONE,

but I don't know.

Do you?